#21-30

#21. Pick wild fruit. I've ran across blackberry bushes tromping through the woods and there used to be a mulberry tree, or atleast thats all I remember it being called, that we would climb and eat forever...until the neighbors told us they were poisonous. I now know that I shouldn't eat mulberries, but they make fantastic catfish bait.

#22. Make homemade Lemonade. Remember the starting proportions - 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of water, 1 cup of lemon juice. It was a looong time ago, I should probably make it again to really enjoy it.

#23. Make homemade Orange Juice. This was a disaster. I squeezed them all with my hands, it was way too pulpy, but the overall taste wasn't that bad. I didn't make alot, probably because it didn't have a proper juicer. Oh well, I did it just for the list's sake.

#24. Be in a most pit. If you ever want to get into a real posh pit check out a concert of Lamb of God. I was lucky enough to see these hellions of heavy at the Alrosa Villa in Columbus, Ohio. They do something called the Wall of Death where they make the crowd part for a few while they build up their song into a massive breakdown where the 2 sides of the crowd rush each other like fucking Braveheart. Don't worry, no Brandons were harmed in the filming of this concert.

#25. Wear a wife beater. Yea, just call me Kid Rock...or white trash. Either works.

#26. Shave my head. How much do I miss boot camp? Actually....it was a blast, but I really don't miss the barbers that shaved my head and took chunks of flesh out of my skull in the process. I'd like to see you shave someones head in 10 seconds and not cut them all to hell.

#27. Be in a security detail. Now, if any Marine looks at this they'll roll their eyes. But, technically, I was. Every Tuesday at the Iwo Jima Memorial for the Sunset Parades. Now do I think I'd ever have to actually do anything that would require force or authority? No. Tell people I'm from Ohio and that I'm a huge Browns fan? Yes.

#28. Have sex in a public place. Most of the parks in Dublin, Ohio have been soiled and sullied and you should not take your children there...unless they have latex gloves on.

#29. Play Frisbee with a dog. Brownie hates Frisbees. She tried to kill it but couldn't quite manage to pick it off the ground once it landed. Her only hope was to catch it while rolling from a bad throw. Right after I got home from playing with Buckeye and Brownie, they passed out and I don't think even a chainsaw would have been able to wake them up.

#30. Party at Ohio University on Halloween. It was a horrible trip. We drove a long ass time along some highway I swear even God had forgot. We were assured by a friend that her boyfriend was having a huge party and that it was very easy to get to. We arrive to a clusterfuck of a parking lot of hundreds of drunk people. My entourage of Bam Bam & Pebbles, Rambo, a man dressed a Catholic schoolgirl, 2 fairys, Alice in Wonderland, and a sexy cowboy. We downed the rest of our stored liquor and proceeded to Court St. The epicenter of the madness. We tried repeatedly to get ahold of our friend, who was quickly becoming our enemy. We sobered up and it was almost when we decided to go when she called and announced that she was ready to get us. Well she got us and took us to the party, which was not there. We were so tired and pissed by that point that we just went to some small apartment and went to bed. The next day, I raided his friends for my hungry compatriots and we took off home. BAM BAM!