#211-220

#211. Complete making my list. I finally fucking did it. It took a loooong 6 years to do. Admittedly, there were many breaks, recesses, and writer's block periods. But the end of an era is here. I have completed the list in which this blog is premised on. Heres to 1001 adventures!

#212. Own over 200 albums. I've got 211 complete albums and 2467 songs. I used to have about 8,500 song on iTunes, until my external hard drive shriveled up and died. So much metal and 80's one hit wonders were lost. I'm on the long road of returning them for my audio intaking pleasure. You'll only get a good taste of metal right now...everything from 30 Inches of Blood to Slayer. Recently, I've been jamming out to Between the Buried and Me....its like Queen gone Death Metal. Check it out.

#213. Own a Ouija Board. YOU'RE MOVING IT!! STOP CHEATING!! I used to be really scared of Ouija Boards when I was little. I have a couple of older cousins and they always told me really creepy stories about what would happen when they would play with it. My cousin Jason, a big rig driver now, told me that the Ouija Board told him he was going to die when he was 54. So appaled by this prediction, he threw the Board out. However, the next morning he said it was right outside his house, stuck in some tree. I shouldn't have been such an Ar-tard. I'll just have to scare the shit out of my kids when I'm older with the same story.

#214. Get a pedicure. I know, my feet are kind of Flinstone-esque. So, I only have so much to work with. The black nail polish really brings out my natural eye color....also, I acknowledge I have Hobbit feet. The Shire represent.

#215. Watch water boil. This sht was boring. My pots and pans are made out of Calphalon so they are more thin than most other cooking ware. This lets it heat up a little faster, so I wasn't sitting on my ass for even longer than I need to. This was by far the most boring item on my list so far.

#216. Have a vanity license plate. I'm going to get a lot of shit for having a vanity license plate. I really wanted to get 'ORGASM' but the DMV didn't entirely approve of it. O-H...

#217. Buy a vehicle to restore. For those of you who don't already know, I bought a truck. She's my baby. It's a 1984 Ford F150. She's a sexy two tone blue, V8, and she purrs like a kitten. Now, I only need to give her a lift, some swamper tires, smoke stacks, and turn that purr into a roar.

#218. Learn to write my name in Japanese. I researched this pretty extensively, so I don't think it says 'Whore' or 'Tunafish Sandwich'

#219. Own an exotic animal. I was the proud owner of a Tomato Frog. I named him Bama. He was angry looking and red. They hail from Madagascar.

#220. Meet a convicted felon. Its a pretty odd story. My dad grew up with this guy named T.C. When he was 19, he was already married, which was common in Amelia, VA. Also, not an odd occurence, he was having problems with his marriage. Well, the story goes that she left him and joined a biker gang. To add icing to the cake, she said she raped him. Now, I don't know if its true or not...

But 20 years in the state prison can change someone. Hes born again and has a little house in the middle of no where with his new wife. You'd never know he was convicted of such a horrible crime. I'm torn on whether or not to give him a chance. Rape isn't something you can take lightly..and it goes unpunished WAY too much in the country, especially on campuses. I don't know where I'd be if I never had a 2nd, 3rd, 4th or more chance...so, I'm gonna go out on a limb and see if he can redeem himself.

Oh, and he can fish like a mad man.

#201-210

#201. Swim out to a buey in the ocean. Jess and I took a cab out to Blue Bay in Curacao. It was a pretty secluded and quiet beach for most of the morning that were there. A couple naked kids were frolicking in the surf as a 50 something woman lay out with her gigantic bosom soaking in the rays and subsequently burning. She decided the best way to deal with this was to go scuba diving and putting on bottoms, but no top. However, these bright red mammaries were no deterrent as I swam out to the buey. Unforunately, I wasn't able to battle a wild barracuda. There was some risk of me stepping on a sea urchin or an unfriendly crab, but I would hardly categorize that as heart pounding thrill excitement. I took a walk around the area afterwards, and saw more of the common features of both Curacao and Aruba, rocky beaches. Lizards slithered and lurked in the shadows made by boulders while I ripped my feet to shreds while walking along a deteriating path.

#202. Drive an ATV. Seems like every trip to Mansfield, OH holds such wonders and amazement. I hopped on an ol' 4 wheeler that Drew Foster's dad had at his house in the country. I crashed through woods, chased deer around, and almost killed myself a couple times. Apparently getting up to 55 mph on the road and 50 in the fields is a little unsafe. But, being covered in mud and soaked from the streams made it totally worth while. Towards the end of our outting, it started raining and every little rain drop felt like BB's shot straight into my face. Squinting, peering through eyelashes, I made my way back to the house, thankfully not wiping out and faceplanting into a ravine or asphalt. I must own one immediately.

#203. Grill outdoors in sub-freezing weather. Sometimes a man needs his steak seared by an open flame. He yearns for that charcoal flavor, outdoor aroma, and warm pink center....

So I'll fire up the grill even if its snowing outside. Even if my feet are practically frostbitten while I stand on frozen concrete.

#204. Learn to play Rook. This is one of my step dad's favorite card games to play with his side of the family. I've played it a couple times, but my partner and I crashed and burned because I'm no pro. Rumor has it my Aunt Irene and Uncle Smokey are the family pros. I've never seen them lose.

#205. Be in International Waters. I was really hoping that some crazy ass pirates would comandeer the ship I was on and I would have to have to start kicking ass and taking names like Steven Seagal did in Under Seige. It was extremely uneventful and I wished I would have seen dolphins or a post-apocolyptic jet ski army ready to rape and pillage all in sight. Instead, I drank foo-fi drinks by a pool and rode the line between being burnt and bronzing like a Greek God....or geek.

#206. Climb a mountain. Right outside Sperryville, Virginia is Old Rag Mountain. It is an 8.8 mile circuit hike with granite faces, and a fantastic rock scramble at the top. Atleast for east coast peaks. I clambered up to the top and as I made my descent, storm clouds started rolling in. I heard the thunder long before the clouds though. I tried to quicken my pace but the downpour that ensued, soaked me to the bone. Luckily, daypack is waterproof and my camera and phone were left undamaged. It was a great ride out to the mountain, a slice of farmland Virginia. But then again, a picture is worth a thousand words.

#207. Be in the Bermuda Triangle. Again, I'm glad I averted disaster while traveling through here. I'm glad my plane and ship did not mysteriously disappear without a trace...or coming back with Sailors horribly disfigured and mangled into the very bulkhead.

Again, I couldn't resist....heres a little history for you:

The Bermuda Triangle, also called the Devil's Triangle, is an imaginary
area that can be roughly outlined on a map by connecting Miami, Florida; San
Juan, Puerto Rico; and the Bahamas, an island chain off the coast of the United
States. Within that triangular area of the Atlantic Ocean have occurred a number
of unexplained disappearances of boats and planes. Additionally, readings on
directional devices do not operate normally inside the triangle.

Unusual events in that area date back in recorded history to 1493 and
the first voyage of Christopher Columbus (1451–1506) to the New World. In his
log, Columbus noted that his compass readings were askew within the area now
called the Bermuda Triangle, and he and his crew were confused by shallow areas
of sea with no land nearby.

#208. Travel south of the Tropic of Cancer. It got pretty hot even in the early days of March, but I can only imagine how hot the Equator must get in July or August. God damn, I love hot weather....just not when I'm in my Dress Blues.

#209. Peel an orange in one piece. Oranges are one of my favorite fruits but peeling them was always a pain in the ass. I knew a fella who used to eat the peel as well as the pulp. I've been amping up my orange intake lately and I pulled of this feat during work last week. I laughed a little aloud when I did it...people looked at me like I was odd. You know, I haven't made a good Sammich with oranges in a long time.

#210. Convince someone to make their own list. Trace Billet. Good luck. Make a list thats better than mine.

Update: Another brave soul has taken the endeavor to start their own list. Congrats Joe...make this list as manly as you can.

#191-200

#191. Have a Bachelor Party. A bunch of the guys took me out one night and wouldn't really tell me what was going on. We were going to watch the UFC fight, but someone got the times down wrong so we ended up eating a gigantic pile of wings at Hooters. I know what you're thinking, and yes, we like to keep it as classy as possible at all time. We headed back into DC, not without swinging by Total Wine and picking up some exotic brews. We picked up Brendan and hopped on the metro...but not without drinking down a few beers at the metro stop. Sophisticated guys. Anyways, we all know where this probably ended up and yes, you guessed it. We made a stop at Camelot. It was entirely too busy and we were crammed into seats next to a bunch of really creepy guys. Drinks were way over priced (4 bud lights, 4 jagerbombs = 88.00) and it was a no touching/ no lap dance place. DC Laws be damned!! All in all it was a pretty good time, especially getting back to the Barracks, where we found some taxi to lug us back.



Doesn't this look straight out of a sub quality 80's action flick? Seedy indeed.

#192. Own a pocketwatch. This was my keepsake I got from the wedding. Hopefully, I can get something engraved on the back and I'll be able to pass this down to young whippersnappers ....but thats a LONG time from now.



#193. Visit a Caribbean Island. I've now been to a couple of them now, I think my favorite out of all of them is Aruba. I'd never get tired of 85 to 90 degrees on little underdeveloped islands geared totally to tourism....and rum is delicious.

This picture is actually a picture taken over looking Magen's Bay, St. Thomas. Here we drank rum and were attacked by the red sea monster that wouldn't stop splashing us. The water here was crystal clear, it was a perfect day out and the palm trees provided the optimal amount of shade while letting us get a nice tan in. The water was cool and refeshing, and now that I think about it, and would kill to get back there right now.

#194. Slash someone's tires. Youthful galavanting through suburbs at night can lead to some pretty pricey vandalism. Destroyed mailboxes and stolen booze from the garage comes as complimentary side dishes. I don't know what it is about boys and their love for destroying things. Bush...can you help me answer that one?

#195. Eat escargot. I had them baked in a dish with a simple butter, garlic, and other herbs sauce. They were actually very tasty. A little bit different texture, but not slimy at all.



#196. Go on a cruise. I went on a 7 day South Caribbean cruise aboard the Adventure of the Seas. We made ports at Oranjestad, Aruba...Willemstad, Curacao....Philipsburg, St. Maarten...and Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas. It was definitely a blast, good relaxation time, and entirely too short. I would recommend a cruise to anyone, the only thing thats a slight draw back is you have to be back on the ship in the late afternoon, so you do miss the night life of the islands. The shopping was good, drinks...though expensive, were strong and the food was plentiful. I just noticed I used plentiful in a sentence and I feel like a pilgrim.



#197. Go snorkling. Right off the coast of Aruba, I went snorkeling after sailing out around the island for about 25 minutes. Our next stop was the Antilla, a sunken German ship. Here is your daily history lesson:

World War I (1914 -1918) and World War II (1939 -1945) propelled the sleepy island of Aruba into a significant factor of the war effort. During World War I, Aruba was a major supplier of calcium phosphate (Guano), which can be used to make fertilizer as well as explosive powder. During World War II, Aruba was an important strategic factor as Aruba supplied the Allied Forces with about 8 % of the entire motor fuel for the war effort against the Axis Powers. Because of the importance of Aruba as a fuel source, German U-boats and other naval ships patrolled the waters of Aruba in attempts to destroy Allied fuel tankers.

In early May 1940, the German freighter Antilla anchored in the Dutch waters of Aruba, while a chain of events is unfolding in Europe. May 10th, German paratroopers landed in Rotterdam and De Hague. Fieldmarshall von Rundstedt Army corps cuts thru Holland and Belgium, circumventing the Maginot line, into France. Queen Wilhelmina fled to England. The Dutch Army surrenders four days later. Holland is at war with Germany and thousands of miles across the Atlantic, the tranquil island of Aruba is soaked into it.

Unbeknown of the events taking place in Europe, the German freighter Antilla was caught in Dutch waters. A flotilla of the Dutch Navy warships surrounded the Antilla. The Dutch served a 24 boarding notice to the Antilla and in response, the commander of the Antilla, Captain Schmidt, gave the order to scuttle the ship. Captain Schmidt and 46 crewmembers disembarked in lifeboats as several explosions ripped holes in the hull of the Antilla, causing her to sink into the shallow waters. Several days after their capture, as they were transported to a prisoner of war camp on the island of Bonaire, Captain Schmidt and his crew saw the remnants of their once proud ship sticking out of the ocean.

#198. Ride the Ripcord. This ride took me some convincing to ride. Jessica had almost talked me into it when I saw a 6 & 7 year old pair of brothers hop in line excited as...well little boys. I said if they could do it, so could I!! So Jess and I tackled the mean monster, and it was amazing. I felt like I was going to hit the ground but we coasted out and up just in time. If you ever come across something like this, go for it!

#199. Complete the Green Belt MCMAP Course. It was only a couple weeks after my Gray Belt Course that Captain Andrious started up a Green Belt Course. It was pretty tough training, and the E-Course down in Quantico always is a good tromp through the forest. Hopefully soon, since the Captain has been giving the Adj office some lessons and grappling with other Marines, I'll have my Brown Belt and be only one step away from my Black Belt. For those of you who don't know what the E-Course is...it starts off with the Marine Corps Obstacle Course, then a 5 mile run up and down steep hills. You have to be careful of where you step, there are loose rocks and roots jutting out everywhere. We ran it with our flak jackets, kevlar, water source, and rifle. Oorah.

#200. Accomplish 200 goals. 801 more to go.

#181-190

#181. Eat a grasshopper. I went out to Oyamel for some Mexican cuisine and got something a little off the wall. I had heard about this little gem from Elliott in the Morning, and I couldn't resist knocking off another project on my list!! I was a little nervous to try it, probably apparent by my nonstop snickering. I scooped up the little cricket filled taco and took a big ol' bite! It was a little salty, a little tangy, and surprisingly...very good!! "Chapulines are a specialty of Mexico's Oaxaca region, where the dried grasshoppers, which are high in protein and low in fat, are eaten as finger food." I scarfed it all down and would definitely try it again!

#182. Buy a DVD Burner. I'm all about the pirating of media. DAMN THE MAN!!

#183. Give wife a diamond necklace. Alright, so I'm a mere Jarhead in God's own Marine Corps, so I'm not exactly rolling in the dough. Its cute, small, and look...there is plenty of room to upgrade in the years to come where even that old hag from the Titanic movie will be jealous of the rocks she be flossin'

#184. Go to an MMA event. I went to EFC 11 (Extreme Fighting Challenge) back in 2005. It was held at the Promowest Pavilion in Columbus, Ohio. I was the cornerman for my friend Dan Wallon. He had some pretty good striking background but was new to the grappling scene. He busted up his opponent pretty well, but was caught in a Triangle Choke in the 2nd round. I also got to see Phil Baroni mop the mat with some chump.

To the right of Phil is Mark Coleman. National champion at Ohio State for wrestling and a UFC and Pride Champion. I used to babysit his kids back in the day.

#185. Run completely around an island. I ran around Theodore Roosevelt Island for company PT forever ago. We had jogged along Rock Creek Park on pavement and it was pretty smooth going while we were all running in formation along with cadence. However, that all changed once we got to the island, where its all dirt paths that are speckled with dangerous roots jutting out made for some tricky hazards. It was amusing to see hardened Marines stumbling over themselves as we ran around.

#186. Buy an HDTV. Now, this list has been in the works now for 6 years. Good lord. Thats a long time. Anyways, an HDTV was a pretty big deal back in the day. So, anyways, we went out and bought a 46" Bravia and I'm in love with it. I even enjoy Rock of Love....while in costume.

#187. Help catch a criminal. I was on a ride along with one of Fairfax's finest police officers, Brendan Hooke. We were on a routine call for a shoplifter at a T.J. Maxx. It was another officer's area of responsibility, so we were just there so he could show me the paperwork side and a typical arrest. As we are sitting in the squad car, a man sprints out of the store, followed by an employee yelling, "Thats him! Thats him!" Brendan jumps out the car to follow him and I say to myself, "I'm not allowed to get out of the car....fuck this." I jump out of the vehicle and take off sprinting towards the fleeing criminal. After about 150-200 yards of dashing through a crowded parking lot, dodging shopping carts and parking cars, we turn the corner around a grocery store and another police cruiser tears infront of the running man. All while I'm running, Brendan is yelling at me, "Don't touch him!" The guy puts his hands in the air and in seconds, Brendan is cuffing him. A job well done.

#188. Have a newspaper article written about me. If you really feel like reading it, just click the picture.

#189. Buy a video camera. So when I get famous, a scandalous sex tape can surface!! One Night in Brandon?....no, wait. That sounds REALLY wrong...I guess that one only works with Paris.

#190. Break a bone. Jessica claims I've broken my toes a bunch of times by grappling, but I say they only get jammed...they probably broke. However, breaking my finger has a great story to go with it. Mindigo, Dan, and I had just munched down on some delicious fungal shrooms and I was subsequently losing my mind. We saw this heap of trash as we drove...yea, we drove on shrooms...I was dumb. We drove through a small walking trail that prohibited cars on it to further investigate. After we got out and laughed and fell, I decided that crawling into the window of the car, made much more sense than getting in through the door. As my hands were on the door frames, its difficult to explain, Dan slammed his back seat door shut on my pinky finger. He had to open it to get it out and I immediately clutched it to my chest in pain. We all had this horrible picture in our heads, as tripped out as we were, of blood spewing everywhere and a dangling finger swinging in the breeze. Luckily, it wasn't that bad and I spent the rest of the night with my hand in a cup of ice, while I was still losing my mind and yelling at people on High St. in the heart of OSU's campus. Good times. The following are pictures close to 4 years after the event.

Good hand:

Bad hand: