#171-180

#171. Beat Jess in Mean Bean Machine. So she is pretty cocky when it comes to this Dr. Mario wannabe game. Granted, she possess some pretty fly skills. However, I have bested her on a couple of occasions. I still can't hold a light to Drew, who can slay anyone at this game even when he is drunk, laying on the ground, can't speak straight and still manages to hand you your own ass in defeat.

#172. Read the Bible. I did this in my righteous days. Before I found the wondrous things of booze and fornication. I've got my own view on how things might be working above us or all around us or whatever, but this blog isn't about that.

#173. Meditate. Every night, during boot camp, when all the recruits were lined up getting ready to hit the rack we would be reciting things we had learned throughout the day. Firewatch would be posted by the lights, ready to begin their tour of duty. Right before we laid down we would thrust our right hand out and say "God", next our left hand, and yelled, "Country" and then we could clasp our hands together and yell out, "Corps!" Separation of Church and state, indeed. Most of the time, I closed my eyes and envisioned women naked, dancing around me. Or what it will be like when I can leave this God forsaken place.

#174. Have a 2 dollar bill. This wasn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be. Not as cool as this.



#175. Blow out all my tires and keep driving. I was sent to an Anti-Terrorism Evasive Driving Course out at Bill Scott Raceway. It was a four day long course of speeding around a race track, vehicle ramming, PIT manuevers, power sliding, and forward and reverse 180s. Fucking awesome. I got paid for it too. God bless government spending.

#176. Learn a new form of origami. I read this book in 4th grade about paper cranes, so I can make a crane from memory pretty lickidy split quick. I did a little paper folding research and came across a "Medium" difficulty piece, The Butterfly.



#177. Battle a fire. Mindigo and I used to go out and tromp around the back woods of Delaware County in Ohio back in the day. We'd pack up some food, drink and smokables and we took off. Among the many hi jinx that took place out there, I'll remember two most vividly. We were clearing out a place in the woods to hold a big ass woods party. We'd invite people out, get high, get drunk, and dance tribal dances around a fire.....naked. Or that's what I had in mind. Anyways, we brought an axe out there, a shovel, a few other garden tools, lots of bud and packs full of food. After working long a hard, we tromped back out, but we were not familiar with the woods yet so we came back out to an unknown road. We were trudging along it, very vagabond like and a car comes around the corner. It comes by, passes, and it turns out its Chitty and Frausto, a couple long time friends who were out on a bake route. They gave us a couple looks at the shovel, like we had just buried a body, and told us to hop in and lit up.

Speaking of lighting up, this brings me to my main story. I thought it would be a grand idea to bring a couple gallons of gasoline out to our "Eden" retreat. We fiddled around, and I suspended the gas over a stream to get it out of the way. We'll the can had a leak in it and was leaking gas into the stream. Aside from probably killing the little frogs that were around the area, I thought it would be amusing to light to creek on fire. It caught alright, well it burned a lot longer than I thought it would and slowly the heat began to melt the gasoline container hanging over the creek. The fire had moved downstream and I was in big trouble. Grabbing a huge branch I was going to try and hook the handle and save the gas, and pull it ashore. Well the plastic had taken a goopy consistency and it plummeted into the fire and so, being in the stoned state I was in, grabbed a large rock to force the container under water. The malleable plastic betrayed me again and FLOOSH!! There was an inferno consuming all the immediate woods around me and Mindigo.



We tried frantically to put it out, we started with water, but that obviously didn't work. We turned to mud and sand from the bank of the stream and smothered out the fire. For a brief few moments we almost turned and took off, to save our own hides and leave the forest for ruin. But we battled and persevered and snuffed the fire out. To our dismay, we had burnt our woods retreat, to the ground.



#178. Spend my whole paycheck in one day. I do this every 15th of the month.....fucking DC rental rates.

#179. Get a band's autograph. Alrosa Villa, 2002, Benson and myself havin' a ball back in the wood.



#180. Mail in something to PostSecret. No, I'm not secretly killing people. But, I can't tell you. That's the whole point, buy the book and guess which is mine.